The Eternal Dash
Today, October 17, the day when the U.S. population reached 300 million, and what would have been my daughter Kolleen’s 19th birthday causes me to reflect on what it all means.
It’s not the 300 million figure that impresses me most. It’s the fact that each of those 300 million people is an individual who, through the course of their lives, will, in some way, touch the lives of the more than 6 billion individuals on the planet.
When Kolleen passed away earlier this year, I was deeply moved at her visitation and funeral by all the friends, family, and acquaintances who showed up to grieve her loss and celebrate her life. I realized that although Kolleen was no longer with us in body, her spirit continued to thrive in those who knew her and loved her. They shared their stories of Kolleen with me and my family—my wife Kathleen, and Kolleen’s siblings Kyle and Kaleigh.
Recently, I picked up a copy of The Dash, based on the poem “The Dash,” by Linda Ellis. (You can view The Dash Movie online by clicking here.) In the poem, Ellis describes a man speaking at the funeral of a dear friend. Referring to the dates on her tombstone, he notes that what’s most important about those dates is not the birth date or the date of her death, but the dash between those years. The man goes on to say that in the end, what we own, what we achieve materially is of little consequence. What’s important is “How we spend our dash.”
The Dash constantly reminds me of the importance of connecting with others every day of my life, especially in a world in which technology is making communications increasingly less personal. When we connect with others, as Kolleen did throughout her short life, the dash becomes much less of a line between two dates. It becomes an ever expanding series of circles that ripple out, touching the lives of many others.
On this day, I realize that Kolleen’s dash didn’t end on the day she died. Because she touched so many people in so many positive ways, she made her dash eternal.
I wonder about that 300 millionth U.S. citizen born today. What will that tiny baby’s dash ultimately represent? How will he or she affect the lives of others? How will that person’s life ultimately touch me?
A Ralph Roberts Site, Copyright © 2006 - |
R Ri Rip Ripp Rippl Ripple Ripples Ripplessssssssssssss
A rainy day on Lake St. Clair
I watch the rain splash down upon the water,
Each drop disappearing in the surface, forming ripples,
Undulating rings expanding out across the lake.
Each droplet squeezed out of mysterious clouds,
Some natural phenomenon I never understood—
Condensation or precipitation,
Or some other lesson I had never learned.
On a sunnier day in May,
My daughter Kolleen [KORO] passed away upon this lake,
A life that seemed to me
More fleeting than the lifetime of a raindrop.
Each drop formed and shaped by forces
As mysterious as those from which Kolleen [KORO] was cast,
As if the universal spirit had coalesced to form Kolleen [KORO],
And drop her as a blessing in our lives.
The ripples, though, held out some hope.
In the ripples I could see Kolleen [KORO],
My daughter, a sister, an athlete, mentor, student, knitter, a loyal friend,
A smile, a laugh, a giggle, a joy to be around.
Kolleen [KORO] passed through our lives
And plunged into the surface of this lake,
But her spirit still ripples
Through the lives of those she loved.
We keep in touch with Kolleen’s friends and teachers, coaches, mentors,
All the people she affected and who affected her.
Through them, we see Kolleen [KORO].
We see her spirit, her dreams, her words, her deeds
Living in the ones she loved.
People are like raindrops passing through our lives,
Splashing on the infinite surface of eternity,
Our ripples intersecting one another,
Affecting one another in mysterious and unexpected ways.
I wonder when all is said and done,
When my life ends and sends waves of past words and deeds
Rippling through the lives of those I’ve met and those I’ve loved,
Just what those undulating ripples will convey,
And what Kolleen [KORO] would have to say.
KORO Thanks 4 all The RIPPLES
Comment by RALPH R ROBERTS — October 22, 2006 @ 12:13 am
Dear Ralph,
I have just watched “The Dash” video for the fifth or sixth time. It saddened me and brought tears to my eyes. It is a very emotional video and it is still difficult for me to watch. My first thoughts are of the terrible loss for you and Kathy. Kollen will never be forgotten and she will be with you and Kathy everyday for the rest of your lives. Cherish these memories.
Ralph, I am not one of your close friends, but I have admired what you have done with your life since I’ve met you. The drive and energy that surrounds you is overwhelming to me, and I wish I could harness it for my life. But, as “The Dash” says, we must take the time to rearrange our lives and make our Dash one that we are grateful for, and I attempt this daily. I am sure that you will continue to do wonderful things with your life and continue to inspire more people then you may ever realize. I wish you and your family Happy Holidays.
Greg Fecteau
Comment by Greg Fecteau — December 10, 2006 @ 1:58 am
Tony Garrisi and Larry Garrisi, of Tri-Max Group, llc and Sunshine Homes, respectively, just lost their dear mother this last weekend. She was 91 years old and died in her sleep at home.
Mrs. Garrisi was a woman full of bravery. She escaped with her children from Italy during the WWII to Africa and fought to keep food on the table. When Africa was invaded, she narrowly escaped with children under each arm and shoes flying. She boarded the last plane to America and raised her children as a seamstress. She spoke little English with all her years here in America but thrived nevertheless. She lived for her family and was a woman of great faith.
She leaves behind her quite a legacy of successful children and grandchildren. She walks in peace and will be missed as the rudder of the Garrisi family.
At the funeral, they read “The Dash”
Comment by Jeannie Sample — February 7, 2007 @ 10:22 am